De Profundis Clamavi, 2019

2024 Notes:

In the process of building a new website, I found  myself deep diving through the last few years of this journey. I've always feared I came too late to releasing this gift of mine, one I've known was inside, patiently waiting for me to wake up. I know now that it wasn't too late, that it happened once I was fully ready to accept it; once I had developed the internal strength and audacity to honour the contract. This gift was never given to me simply to be able to paint, I am compelled to reach deeper inwards, to allow something to come forth, not from me, but through me. There are threads I can see now, they were there from the moment I first picked up a brush, before I understood what kept drawing me forwards, urging me to grasp the wisp of a thread and follow it into the pattern of the weave. I can't possibly see the whole tapestry, and I may never see it beyond the part that is mine, but in this painting, done 5 years ago, I recognise the start of the story; the thread of my fascination with sacred geometry, the masculine body, the utter beauty of our humanity, our struggles, our sorrows, our visceral joy in being alive. Woven into the paint too is also a very human desire, a longing to feel soul connected, to be seen fully and yet still unequivocally loved. We all are worthy of this exactly as we are, we are deserving.